you are the only exception.

one year passed, and i am still in love with you.

why

why is it that every time, without fail, just as you’re about to let go, or at least start to let go, they give you something else to grab onto. Another small piece of hope in them. A phone call, a text, anything. Its like they know you are about to finally start getting over them, so they stop it. They want you to hang on, just in case. I hate it. I wish i could just ignore it, but the truth is, I can’t. I can’t walk away from the thought of us happening again.

this is ridiculous bullshit.

i find myself smiling for no reason, then i realize it’s the thought of tomorrow that brought this excitement on. i haven’t had that feeling in a long while. it’s because of you. i hope things are different this time. goodnight (:

you have always interested me. maybe this time the opportunity to explore that will come. i really hope so.

to whom it may concern:

please answer my prayers, even if its not what i want to hear. all i need is an answer. i think you’re there, are you? i need help. it’s only getting worse.

screw you.

can’t wait to leave for break.

Sometimes I love Rexburg and all it has to offer, sometimes I cannot wait to get out of here. Right now is one of those times.

Dear boys,

Let me know when you become men. Thanks.

Feeling like i can’t forgive but i want to
It’s like i don’t know how to live i’m afraid to
I used to think take them as they come without hesitations no
Now it’s like my head is filled with lies and persuasions

As the sun begins to fall i hear her calling out to me she’s sayin’ hurry it’s one more
day gone

What i wouldn’t give just to forget
So i can remember how to live again
I wanna live again

I am feeling dissonant and distracted
The toxic chemicals are spilling in my head and they’re bleeding deadly reactions

And as the moon begins to rise he shows me all the colors that i’m hiding i’m hiding myself

What i wouldn’t give just to forget
What i wouldn’t give to get some rest
So i can remember how to live again
I wanna live again

Am i desperately losing this fight
When i should really be choosing my flight
Take me now

What i wouldn’t give just to forget
What i wouldn’t give to get some rest
So i can remember how to live again
I wanna live again

What i wouldn’t give just to forget
What i wouldn’t give to get some rest
What i wouldn’t give just to forget
So i can remember how to live

— What I Wouldn’t Give- Holly Brooks

Two Things

1. I hate how things I miss most are the little things I never noticed before.

2. I want to do more than… just exist.

near to you.

He and I had something beautiful
But so dysfunctional, it couldn’t last
I loved him so but I let him go
‘Cause I knew he’d never love me back

Such pain as this
Shouldn’t have to be experienced
I’m still reeling from the loss,
Still a little bit delirious

Near to you, I am healing
But it’s taking so long
‘Cause though he’s gone
And you are wonderful
It’s hard to move on
Yet, I’m better near to you.

You and I have something different
And I’m enjoying it cautiously
I’m battle scarred, I am working oh so hard
To get back to who I used to be

He’s disappearing
Fading suddelly
I’m so close to being yours
Won’t you stay with me
Please

Near to you, I am healing
But it’s taking so long
‘Cause though he’s gone
And you are wonderful
It’s hard to move on
Yet, I’m better near to you.

I only know that I am
Better where you are
I only know that I am
Better where you are
I only know that I belong
Where you are

Near to you, I am healing
But it’s taking so long
Though he’s gone
And you are wonderful
It’s hard to move on

Near to you, I am healing
But it’s taking so long
‘Cause though he’s gone
And you are wonderful
It’s hard to move on
Yet, I’m better near to you.

Yet, I’m better near to you.